Absurdly Social
This text was created with the support of AI – as a space of resonance, not as an author. The thoughts, the evaluations, the perspective: mine. From my own universe of perception. Others have others.
Apologies for the short pause🤧 a cold, the aftereffects of chemotherapy, the body is a bit worn out at the moment. But the mind keeps spinning, you know that about me by now.
And today the mind lands here:
We are social beings. It says so in every psychology book somewhere, it gets mentioned in podcasts, confirmed at conferences. And yet – or perhaps precisely because of that – it is rather absurd that we manage to put one foot in front of the other at all.
Because: I have my perception. The other person has theirs. And these two perceptions are not variations of the same theme – sometimes they are completely different pieces, played on different instruments, in different keys.
You can get annoyed with other people. That is human, it happens to me too. But if I am honest, am I really getting annoyed with the person – or with the difference between my expectation and their reality?
And who has the original?
No one. Or everyone. Depending on where you stand.
Constructivism – and I use the word here without academic ambition, simply because it fits – says: reality is not perceived, it is constructed. Every brain builds its own version. What I see, hear, feel is not a direct imprint of the world but the result of filters, experiences, patterns that have carved themselves in over years. Maturana and Varela called this autopoietic systems – systems that create themselves and take their own perception as the basis for doing so. It sounds abstract. But really it is just this: everyone lives inside their own construct. And considers it reality.
The three-body problem in physics describes something similar: three masses influencing one another, no closed solution, no predictable pattern. One may know the current position – but the future of the system remains chaotic. It is similar in relationships: I influence you, you influence me, the system we form together influences both of us – and yet there is no formula that can fully describe it.
And still. Somehow we function. Not because we solved the problem, but because we tolerate it.
What keeps social life running anyway? Not agreement. Not shared perception. Not even mutual understanding – that is often simply impossible.
But love. Sometimes called something else – trust, connection, loyalty, the quiet willingness to remain with someone even when you do not understand them in that moment. Levinas, the philosopher, once said in essence: encountering the Other is always an encounter with the radically foreign. With someone who can never be fully grasped. And yet – or precisely because of that – responsibility arises. Not because one understands, but because one sees.
Love might be exactly this: the willingness not to solve the three-body problem. But to remain in the chaotic dance. Because the other person is worth it – even if their perception is completely different from mine.
From my universe of perception, at least, that is the only thing that truly carries.
Again and again. =)
Written on March 5, 2026 at 11:00. © 2026 Whisper7. All rights reserved.